what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
