Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize