My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize