Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
