Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.