white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from