So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
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I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home