The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.