Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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