Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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