He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
