then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
