Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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