apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
