Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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