Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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