Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
