the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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