Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
