I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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