He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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