How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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