You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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