I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can tuck mytits in my pants
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
