Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
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Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
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By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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