You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
