Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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