booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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