I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize