dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
