Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
