thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
