brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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