Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize