Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
