I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
