For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
