A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
