THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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