Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
