Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize