Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize