i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
