So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
