so that wasnt chicken after all
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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