I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
