Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
