when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
