i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
