wrigley field is MILF paradise
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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