I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
