either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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