I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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