Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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