sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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