I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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