what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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