Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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