I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
