He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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