so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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