Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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