dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
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I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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